What is man? They ask me and I now repeat the question facing this blank page. Are the books, of course, to respond intelligently and judiciously. But it would be my answer. What is mine, only I could give?

Difficult to know what being a man, but maybe I can venture to explore how I am and this man who I am. And then I go back to men who are behind me and I did. How were these men? Two very different grandparents, two ways of seeing the world. One big and strong, practical man who worked in the mine. Simple and wise, funny, creative. The other thin and sickly and useless counter with his hands, dreamy, quixotic lover of books, inventor of sweet lies.

I go to my father and all or almost all men as we, as Telemachus, to know who I am. My father was a responsible man, often grim, with bursts of surprising tenderness. Strong, creative, able to solve problems, rough hands and strong, with a kind of suppressed violence, with generosity, with difficulty expressing their emotions, so many shreds of machismo impregnated her dark skin and rough.

These men forged me and I'm not like them. I would even say that I am not as they wished. Too intellectual for a grandparent, another too liberal, too "feminine" for my father.

Them and I am another. Wanted.

I was a child and all, but I never liked the strollers and the Meccans. I liked the dolls, wrestlers and superheroes, and read stories, and draw them. I wanted to be like others, risky and tough, with a taste for excitement, but never gave me. I'm fragile, violence scares me, scares me physical pain.

I fell in love with books, music. I moved the stories where someone becomes, grows and forgives.

I looked at what they call the "gender" and wanted to be faithful to these new requirements. I became critical to many of the characteristics of "men". And almost began to relate the 'masculine' with the superficial, violent, empty. I did, or tried to make me a gentle man, neglecting some of my fellow insensitive and ineffective, clumsy and animals.

And I started doing something is missing. Yes, maybe I grew up in sensitivity, equity, solidarity. Perhaps I looked without fear of features that are considered "feminine" I fought my misogyny and homophobia ... but something began to lack.

Today, I recognize those characteristics or attitudes so-called "masculine" I learned to despise after my feminist readings. Recognize me and realize that enriched me. Today I begin to look with deep tenderness many men and I realize that this look is for me too, that mirror and reflect my own tenderness.

Today I decide to do workshops for men to listen, laugh together, talk about deep and shallow jokes and show our wounds. Talking to our parents and close to them, to learn to get away from our mothers. The men do and do not suggest, suspended for only two or three brave who are interested in attending. And then try again because I know I have little to give them, but together we can discover something valuable.

Today I am the man I am, trying to integrate what they learn. Although I'm not sure what being a man, I declare to man and say that I love to hear the sweetest poetry, also play the dace. I'm excited a solo cello in all its depth and elegance of the creativity of Zidane and Ronaldinho in the beautiful green football field. I love speaking softly to the woman I love the warm intimacy of the bed and also a lively conversation with other men in a bar drinking beer amid the noise of glasses and the dominoes. I touched the most sensitive film about love and try not to miss the last of action or one where they go pretty girls in bikini or under clothing if possible. I appreciate the expression of my emotions and my silences prudent. I want to show my vulnerability and my strength. I give a flower and try to learn to show my sword to shine in the sun.

I'm a man and go back to the original question that brought these words. What is man? I say simply do not know because I'm changing all the time because it would have responded differently at different times of my life, so my answer today would not-could not be "definitive.

All this just to tell my friend the editor of this portal to enlighten me sexuality-and to me, I do not know the answer and do not really care at all because the man I am, yes I know the answers are much less important than the questions. Read more...

Interview with Erick Fisher Albiach, journalist and sexologist

What does the word masculinity?

Masculinities are different ways of being human. There is only one way to be. Each man must invent how you want to be rethinking the stereotypical model that until now have of how to be a man.

Why is it important for men to rethink their way of being human if, say, they played the better part of the story?

We can not tell who touched the best or worst. You can not compare, they are different domains. What I can say is that men are in crisis and do not know.

In our part of history there are many impositions and prohibitions, one of the most important is the inability to express our emotions. A man should not mourn or do not get carried away with your sex life erotic, always thinking they should have some performance to prove this or that, without letting his emotions and real feelings flow. This also happens with the family, men do not know how to express in the affective, which causes problems and frustrations.

The emotional level not function does not effective relationships with partner, family, the people who surround you up with friends.

Tired of trying to be strong and brave?

Everything really tired when you do not behave as you really are, but as I have said should be. When you realize that you damage people who have close or when you yourself do not know how to express yourself.

How is it that arises to rethink this being men? Is it from feminism?

Yes, the feminist struggle is what opened the door for men to seek his humanity. Masculinities that emerge from women seek gender equity, so men should, with the new company, to build the sharing out of the differences, respect for diversity.

This movement has been going on the French Revolution.

From my experience, I think many men are not yet ready for the changes that women in different fields and in economic, professional, social, family, etc.. Do you think a change will be realized male in search of a society with gender equality?

Yes, the models begin to change. You have to work with men from his own interest from the individual to each person under his being. It should rethink stereotypes and power structures.

We work with a project called "Ulysses" with adolescent boys because at this stage of human development, we believe our work timely, since the personality is being built. "Ulysses" is the search for identity man and woman in power.

What awaits us with a change in the model of masculinity with the masculinity?

We expect to enjoy through diversity relationships, sex, with our sons and daughters. Enjoy our life as individuals without having to be role models, stereotypes of men. That awaits us, enjoy our masculinity with affection.

I stay with this idea, I like. I prefer to share my feelings and thoughts with men who know themselves, without seeking to be who they are. The pursuit of our being is important and when the men broke from the mold.

I know that not all men are equal, because there is no repeatable individual, I also know that men like Erick Fisher engage in the pursuit of gender equity because they understand that individuals can not be full if their partner or themselves are involved in the "ought" and not really who they are. May people who read this page to share with others his new vision of male masculinity and create from the affections.

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