What is being a man?

What is man? They ask me and I now repeat the question facing this blank page. Are the books, of course, to respond intelligently and judiciously. But it would be my answer. What is mine, only I could give?

Difficult to know what being a man, but maybe I can venture to explore how I am and this man who I am. And then I go back to men who are behind me and I did. How were these men? Two very different grandparents, two ways of seeing the world. One big and strong, practical man who worked in the mine. Simple and wise, funny, creative. The other thin and sickly and useless counter with his hands, dreamy, quixotic lover of books, inventor of sweet lies.

I go to my father and all or almost all men as we, as Telemachus, to know who I am. My father was a responsible man, often grim, with bursts of surprising tenderness. Strong, creative, able to solve problems, rough hands and strong, with a kind of suppressed violence, with generosity, with difficulty expressing their emotions, so many shreds of machismo impregnated her dark skin and rough.

These men forged me and I'm not like them. I would even say that I am not as they wished. Too intellectual for a grandparent, another too liberal, too "feminine" for my father.

Them and I am another. Wanted.

I was a child and all, but I never liked the strollers and the Meccans. I liked the dolls, wrestlers and superheroes, and read stories, and draw them. I wanted to be like others, risky and tough, with a taste for excitement, but never gave me. I'm fragile, violence scares me, scares me physical pain.

I fell in love with books, music. I moved the stories where someone becomes, grows and forgives.

I looked at what they call the "gender" and wanted to be faithful to these new requirements. I became critical to many of the characteristics of "men". And almost began to relate the 'masculine' with the superficial, violent, empty. I did, or tried to make me a gentle man, neglecting some of my fellow insensitive and ineffective, clumsy and animals.

And I started doing something is missing. Yes, maybe I grew up in sensitivity, equity, solidarity. Perhaps I looked without fear of features that are considered "feminine" I fought my misogyny and homophobia ... but something began to lack.

Today, I recognize those characteristics or attitudes so-called "masculine" I learned to despise after my feminist readings. Recognize me and realize that enriched me. Today I begin to look with deep tenderness many men and I realize that this look is for me too, that mirror and reflect my own tenderness.

Today I decide to do workshops for men to listen, laugh together, talk about deep and shallow jokes and show our wounds. Talking to our parents and close to them, to learn to get away from our mothers. The men do and do not suggest, suspended for only two or three brave who are interested in attending. And then try again because I know I have little to give them, but together we can discover something valuable.

Today I am the man I am, trying to integrate what they learn. Although I'm not sure what being a man, I declare to man and say that I love to hear the sweetest poetry, also play the dace. I'm excited a solo cello in all its depth and elegance of the creativity of Zidane and Ronaldinho in the beautiful green football field. I love speaking softly to the woman I love the warm intimacy of the bed and also a lively conversation with other men in a bar drinking beer amid the noise of glasses and the dominoes. I touched the most sensitive film about love and try not to miss the last of action or one where they go pretty girls in bikini or under clothing if possible. I appreciate the expression of my emotions and my silences prudent. I want to show my vulnerability and my strength. I give a flower and try to learn to show my sword to shine in the sun.

I'm a man and go back to the original question that brought these words. What is man? I say simply do not know because I'm changing all the time because it would have responded differently at different times of my life, so my answer today would not-could not be "definitive.

All this just to tell my friend the editor of this portal to enlighten me sexuality-and to me, I do not know the answer and do not really care at all because the man I am, yes I know the answers are much less important than the questions.