SEXUAL PROBLEMS - Part 1

Introduction

To understand the sexual problems should be from the conception of sexuality as a power with psychological components, biological and social. In fact, the unrest may affect the physical response, the psychological balance, and even social relationships. The latter aspect is often collide, but there are many men with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation who feel very uncomfortable when your friends talk about sex, which leads them to fear and dodging encounters distended. Not all people the implications are the same and not all sexual problems have the same causes.

There are those that affect so clear to the organ function, resulting from disease or consumption of drugs or other substances, and other content more psychological, a product of a weak and often inadequate sex education. Also controladasy stressful circumstances do not play their role, because these sexual problems are coping mechanisms to reduce anxiety. Seems to lie that happen, but we live in a society in which sex can still be viewed as something ugly and dirty, that's just talking about sensible way. Sometimes we have to remember that we are many millions of people throughout the world, that all or almost all, if we exclude the insemination, we were born of a sexual intercourse, from contact between male and female genitalia. Our reproduction is, therefore, sexual, but sexuality is something healthy and intrinsic to human beings, is not restricted to playback, however important it may be. It is also a form of privileged communication, both between people of different sex, as the same, and even seeks contact with oneself. The sex provides pleasure and satisfaction and is linked to a healthy life, as the World Health Organization (WHO) has been in charge of enacting.

The sexologists William Masters, Virginia Johnson and Robert Kolodny listed some of the ways it can restrict eroticism. To make this guide we have expanded and revised, as our clinical experience: - The custom of having sexual relations "only at the right time."

- Lack of privacy.

- The limits of time and tiredness, and being unable to include in our "agenda" erotic encounters.

- Be solely responsible for the relationship, thinking that the pleasure of others depend only on me.

- At the other extreme, do not take into consideration the other. "I'm what I like and do not share." - The attitude of confronting the sexual relationship, instead of enjoying sex.

- Believing that sexual satisfaction is only for people young and attractive.

- To think, worry or distracted during sex.

- Be angry with the couple, without telling, but acting accordingly, distilling malaise. These and other elements of eroticism blockers may evolve into situations of greater severity, and lead to sexual problems that impact negatively on the desire, arousal or orgasm / ejaculation. Sexual problems can be categorized by their appearance. So, are called "primary" when they are present from the beginning of the erotic life. There is talk of secondary sexual problems when they appear after a period of proper functioning. For its main etiology, sexual problems can be especially organic, psychological or basically have a sociocultural basis. In all cases, the biological, psychological and social partners have their importance, as they relate to each other. But it is very important to define good cause to conduct a proper and effective treatment.

LACK OF SEXUAL DESIRE

The incidence and prevalence of the problems of desire are difficult to establish. Different studies authors and do not match, especially by differences in diagnostic criteria, and are often confused with the tables of lack of sexual desire and dislikes. With them there is consensus that the lack of desire is the most common sexual problem in women and that, to date, the lack of desire affects more women (prevalence, according to authors, between 22% and 51% of the female population) than men (prevalence, according to authors, between 10% and 15% of males). People who have this problem often make excuses to avoid a sexual relationship with her partner.

Almost never goes to the time your partner, always have some excuse not yet collect the kitchen, a very interesting program on TV, an urgent work ... Sometimes that means they escape a feeling of guilt for not responding to an implicit commitment and increase the nerves to the extent that dilates the meeting. It can be a lifelong disorder (primary) or acquired (secondary), generalized (with all the couples) or situational (with a couple specific). Inhibited sexual desire in the absence of erotic feelings leads to see sex as something unpleasant, even a punishment. This problem is widespread in the absence of sexual interest towards any person or circumstance, and if you do not see situational interest in the couple, but the person is encouraged to others or to masturbation. Sometimes, rather than a desire inhibited, there may be just a discrepancy in the levels of sexual interest between the two partners who own levels of interest within the normal limit. The complaint about the lack of sexual desire is very common.

As most frequent cause appointing a high degree of stress to which humans are subjected to daily life, where everything is usually scheduled, unless the enjoyment of the relationship and sexual intimacy with the couple.

Causes

Domestic responsibilities

Domestic life has its conditions and the theory of gender equity, in which men and women shared rights and responsibilities, works out to more doors in the privacy of home. These reminiscences of the patriarchal model is the basis of this conflict of roles and make many men feel unsafe in their role and disappointed by not having a woman that they resolve the issue home. The women, for their part, complain about his dual role. In particular, those with higher job skills and economic independence posed a clear lack of enthusiasm for a couple living together, fearing the burden of responsibility for the family, of which so many men know how escaquearse.

Data from the Institute of Women on the division of housework suggest that the man spends on average 1 hour and 32 minutes on household chores, compared to 4 hours 2 minutes devoted to women a day. But, what is all this? Do you not talking of inhibited sexual desire? Certainly, but this is one of the most recurrent issues in sex therapy when it comes to the lack of desire. We believe therefore that it is worth devoting a few lines to reflect on the most immediate, sometimes so close neither of us realize, but it represents a big influence on our sex lives. Relationship problems and poor choice of a partner other times, lack of desire is due to relationship problems as if any member of the couple does not feel intimately connected to the partner.

There are people who have serious difficulties linked to emotionally, proximity to them and scares the merger involving the sexual act gives you vertigo. These people often have stormy relations with large bronzes and reconciliation, without which there is no logic, since the emotional seesaw was due to the internal need of proximity and distance. Do not confuse the temporary absence of desire to have sex with the lack of sexual desire, which is a physical disorder, with roots and / or psychological In other couples there are power struggles, in which the couple seems to be married against one another, rather than with the other. Rather than add, subtract. They are in continual conflict and his house is not home, but a minefield in which one can not lower our guard. Under these conditions it is a miracle that flourish sexual desire. In these cases may be intermittent episodes of inhibited sexual desire. Another cause of the lack of desire is the inappropriate choice of partner. Although we seem incredible, some people are married and are matched with those who just do not wake up any passion.

We can not forget that appetite involves passion, strong desire for one thing and also suffering. Many people are not willing to suffering because it represents the passion if not passionately craves, loss, if it is not a trauma. On many occasions, people tend to have suffered some disappointment in love and people associated with attractive from a sexual point of view, as dangerous, and that can make them suffer. Inadequate sex education or traumatic experiences Inadequate sex education, with negative attitudes and manifestations sexofóbicas, with fear of sin and sex associated with dirty generates a difficult terrain for the healthy expression of sexuality because they hamper the erotic imagery, antechamber of sexual desire.

The traumatic sexual experiences and negative, such as sexual abuse in childhood, rape, sexual harassment and other attacks against sexual freedom can have an impact on some faults of desire. It should be noted that sexual abuse of children suffer both girls and boys and may have negative repercussions in adulthood of men and women.

Treatment

The problems of inhibited sexual desire often need care sexologists, which includes working predisposing factors related to the history and erotic sex education, as well as others that have to do with deeper aspects and relate well with the ties with parents and mothers with fear or to engage in an emotional level. The lack of desire often have a significant impact on the couple relationship, especially if he is the man who suffers from this lack.

The woman may feel rejected and unattractive, causing great uncertainty with regard to the relationship. Men tend to make this situation better, thanks to gender stereotypes that lead to a vision of women less willing to enjoy sex, while men often appear more willing. It is very important to talk to the couple in the decline of desire, making it clear that he has nothing to do with it is less attractive and has lost interest in the relationship. Addressing the means of pleasure To address the lack of sexual desire is essential to work pathways of pleasure. By way of explanation, we think that there are neural pathways associated with pleasure and sexual desire. And so that everything works well, the transit of desire to pleasure has to be an attractive path full of pleasant stimuli, as is supposed to be the erotic encounter. People who have problems with desire not find the way. And when they find it, is fraught with obstacles saboteurs. Call fault, strange feelings of discomfort, overwhelmed ...

Instead of enjoying a beautiful landscape, confronted with the fear of the tunnel unexpected and overwhelming. The treatment involves, metaphorically, out of the tunnel and retrieve, or enjoy for the first time, a smooth and enjoyable sexuality in its entirety: desire, arousal, orgasm and resolution. Do not confuse the temporary absence of sexual desire with the problem to which we refer. It is considered a disorder where a lack of desire is persistent and recurrent and going for at least 6 months. The step-by-moment point and time should not be worried, but they come very well the positive reinforcement and devote some time and mimarnos guard. Each has its own source of pleasure. A massage, a dinner at the candlelight, a walk in the countryside, go to the hairdresser or a good aromatic bath are small details that carry our energy and provide us with small doses of pleasure, which is also a vaccine against depression and anxiety. And, in addition to these reinforcements, it is necessary to promote the erotic inclination by providing appropriate incentives. The temporary decline in the desire to have sexual intercourse or masturbation is normal. Mainly due to excess activity, to be convalescing from a medical condition, to disputes between couples or any other circumstance. Or you can simply go through periods of reduced appetite, as happens to us with food.

The person with a lack of desire do not perceive the enjoyment of sex and sabotages so unconscious with a thousand inconveniences. And it is easy, because in this society we have an overload of stimuli with a limited time: work, household chores, personal care, shopping, child care, social relationships, family commitments, travel, movies, music, reading, video games, TV at all hours and in addition, computers connected to the Internet. Who has time for sex? There are too many things to do. So life is the person with a lack of desire, who has time for everything, less to maintain relations of sexual intimacy with another person or with itself, deprived of a gift, a privilege of human nature and depriving a person love of complicity that involves the sharing sexual pleasure. And it happens that there is discomfort for the person who suffers and for the couple.

To combat it, the first step is to want to overcome it, because if you are willing to educate the desire and explore the sensations, gradually discovering ways and means of entering the mood of a sexual encounter. One way is to read erotic literature, movies, using the imagination, or have fantasies. The dosage and the content of these stimuli is inversely proportional to the inhibition that the person has, because if the inhibition is very large, it may be counterproductive and find unpleasant stimuli. For this reason it has to be a smooth path, where the sexologist came to help and remove the fears, being aware of the needs and conditions of the patient and providing it to realize its limitations car while he was showing its potential.

Treatment with testosterone

Has been related testosterone, a hormone typically considered masculine, with the maintenance of the desire and female sexual response. Especially when this lack of sexual response coincides with the onset of menopause. Some specialists recommend treatment with testosterone patches, the desire to improve and prolong the sexual life of women who file sexual desire disorder hypoactivity. However, the results of studies funded by the pharmaceutical industry have been answered by other professionals who feel that the responses obtained with medication, in which women have to spend 3 to 5 relations per month on average, do not justify their side effects. Such effects highlight the altered cholesterol levels, the development of exaggerated musculature, voice changes or acne, or presence of hair on his face and other body parts. In this regard, it has been pointed out that the key to ensure security is to establish a minimum effective dose, since the administration of testosterone replacement therapy is an attempt to restore the natural hormonal balance. If it passes the peak, there are adverse effects.

Taking into account these side effects, patients require monitoring to include at least one examination on the onset or worsening of hirsutism (presence of hair), acne or masculinization (such as change of voice or growth of the clitoris) breast exam and the extraction of a blood sample to assess fat and glucose and an analysis of liver function. The treatment of any sexual problem entails taking into account all the resources, including medications. It is essential for a diagnosis personalized benefit of all resources with minimal side effects. For now it appears that treatment with testosterone is not the first option to a lack of female desire, especially since in most cases the disorder can have psychological causes and characteristic of the relationship.

Sexual Aversion

An extreme form of sexual disorder is sexual aversion. It consists of the rejection intense, persistent and recurrent sexual contact. Supposed to avoid any intimate relationship with the couple, sometimes not only genital contact, but any other type of stroke that is interpreted as a preamble intercourse. This causes a change discomfort and is often accused hinder interpersonal relationships, especially for couples. The sexual aversion disorder occurs from time to time in men and much more often in women. The patients complain of anxiety, fear or disgust with regard to sexual situations. It can be a lifelong disorder (primary) or acquired (secondary), generalized (all couples) or situational (with a couple specific).

In the extreme form of sexual aversion, the person not only lacks sexual desire, but can also find sex repulsive, disgusting and repulsive. If there ever since, the aversion to sexual contact may be a sexual trauma such as incest, sexual abuse or rape. It may also be the result of a very repressive atmosphere, sometimes enhanced by a rigid and orthodox religious training, or it may have started after some early attempts at intercourse that occurred dyspareunia, ie pain in intercourse. In the latter case, even after disappearing dyspareunia, remains the memory of pain. When it comes to a disorder acquired, after a period of normal operation, its origin may be in a partnership or a traumatic experience.

The aversion can generate a response fóbica (even anxiety) in which case they may also be present unrealistic fears of domination or less aware of bodily harm. Situational sexual aversion may occur in people who attempt or expect to have relationships inconsistent with their sexual orientation, for example, in some cases of homosexuality is not accepted, in which, for social or family pressure, imposing relationships with the opposite sex in order to normalize their lives.

Treatment

The treatment of sexual aversion and phobia is designed to enable the person to dramatically improve their sexual communication. Whenever possible, is aimed at removing the causes that triggered the disorder. The intervention involves integrating sexological explore:

1 - The predisposing factors, namely those having to do with the history of that person, such as sex education, the love story, or sexually traumatic situations.

2 - The precipitating factors. At what point is true and what may have been triggered.

3 - The factors maintainers, related to the present time, what makes the episode to be repeated and what the attitude of the couple at the situation. Sometimes it will be necessary to support drug research. The tables in distress can be treated with tricyclic antidepressants, selective reuptake inhibitors of serotonin, monoamine inhibitors or benzodiazepines. Favoring his erotic imagery, to help them find their own model of sexual enjoyment is indicated in a special way in these people.

Each person should listen to themselves and choose what you like and you feel like, and what you do not encourage. The problem is that these people have some very poor concerning erotic and we must help them, always respecting their preferences. Consideration should be given to the world of erotic preferences is very broad and that what is challenging for one person to another may be repulsive. The sexologist is mindful of this precept and must accompany the person or the couple to develop their own field of sexual expression, which can feel comfortable and enjoy the potential of pleasure that sexuality offers.